Getting a friend to photograph your wedding: is it a No No?

Ask any professional photographer or videographer whether it’s Ok to ask your friend or relative to capture the photos of the  wedding day for you, and they will embark on a passionate and righteously angry speech how you should never ever do this, or you will get “what you paid for” and will jeopardize your memories from the best day of your life.

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This is no secret to anyone that the DSLRs are becoming better and better every year, and now the hobbyists have access to photo equipment with some amazing capabilities.

Also, now that there are tons of photo-editing applications, the concept of digital darkroom, and enhancing photos during the post-editing is becoming more and more accessible to general public.

Still, before asking friends to shoot a wedding for you, here are things to consider.

Is this friend[s] a professional photographer? If so, is he specializing in event photography or in something completely different?

If you are asking a still-life photographer or a jewelry photographer to shoot your wedding, you must understand that their trade requires a whole different set of skills.

Friend or no friend, here’s the qualities that your wedding photographer should possess:

1. He or she should know their cameras, and camera equipment really well, and be comfortable shooting in different lighting situations and making decisions fast.

In my experience I noticed that the most obvious difference that separates pro photographer from an amateur is the ability to use external camera flash effectively.

The truth is, 90% of wedding receptions are held at night and indoors. When people start dancing, the lighting is usually faded so as to create intimate party atmosphere. So, there’s no way around it – your photographer will need to use flash: use it fast and use it effectively. An amateur might have a great sense of beauty and composition and take great photos outside, yet – be totally helpless and confused when using flash.

2. Backup equipment: Professional photographer will not go to the wedding without at least 2 camera bodies, 2 flashes, several different lenses, 3 or more fully charged camera batteries, a lot of double-A batteries for the flash, and a lot of SD or CF cards. Things brake, and they brake in the most inconvenient time. If the photographer is not prepared for such emergencies, a bride and groom will pay for this by not having the part of their wedding captured. So, if you have a friend photographing your wedding, make sure he either has his own backup equipment, or set him up with extras [either make sure that one of your guests has similar camera and needed equipment and would gladly share in case it was needed] OR – use photo-rental store to rent extra flash and extra camera-body for the day. It’ll cost you a couple hundred bucks, but will save you a piece of mind.

3. Is this a really close friend? If so, make sure he or she is not going to be upset for working at your wedding rather than participating. You should understand that the wedding photographer at the wedding is there in completely different mode: When I get asked to photograph friends’ weddings which I do sometimes, i avoid speaking with my mutual friends, dancing, eating or drinking with my friends at the table. Why? Because I’m supposed to be 100% alert and focused on everything that is happening around me. And, to be honest, sometimes, while photographing friends’ weddings, i regret being there in the capacity of a photographer. When all your friends are there, it’s much more fun to be a guest! :) The bottom line here is to make sure that a friend really doesn’t mind photographing your day, and  that he won’t get carried away, start dancing and chatting away, and forget about his/her responsibilities.

It seems pretty obvious, but i have seen even some wedding professionals connected to bride-and-groom through friends get carried away, chat with people and drink instead of doing what they are supposed to be doing. The tricky part, with a friend doing you a favor and photographing your wedding for free, you can’t even say anything if she/he wants to dance, or gets drunk.

4. Establish clear understanding of what exactly will you get after the wedding from your photographer friend, and what will be a time frame of this. This is extremely important that you discuss it prior to the wedding, and preferably have it in writing, in the form of the email if signing a contract with a friend seems too awkward. The post-editing of the wedding photos is overwhelming even for a seasoned professional, and to a photographer who never shot a wedding before, it can seem like an impossible project to tangle.

I have seen this happen so many times, and heard so many horror stories – don’t let this happen to you. Don’t let your friend disappear into the oblivion with all the photos, or to drag the post-editing for the next half a year. Arrange to copy all JPG and RAW files as soon as possible after the wedding. An amateur photographer might have no systematic approach to saving all the photos in orderly manner. If he or she is making only one backup, there’s always a chance that it might crash and all the data would be lost. This, OR – the images can just get deleted due to negligence – It only takes one click. Scary, isn’t it? If your friend promised to retouch the photos, discuss how many of them will it be and how long would it take them to accomplish this. It’s very possible that your photographer might need to do 50 or more hours of post-editing work on your photos – make sure they are adequately compensated for this one way or the other, or at least show your appreciation. 50 hours is a lot of work any way you look at it – if you are getting this for free – make sure your friend is rewarded for this, and that his work is appreciated.

5.Post-editing: Not every photographer is good with post-editing and retouching. Some designers or artists might be better with it and like it better. Consider unloading the burden of your photographer by asking some other friend [designer or visual artist] to edit your photos, or better yet – try to learn Photoshop or Adobe Lightroom and do it yourself. If you don’t know any post-editing programs and aren’t going to learn them, at least narrow down the photos to a manageable selection of 100-200 photos on your own. Selecting the best photos can take 1 to 2 days of work – my advise is not to abuse your friends’ kindness and do it yourself. :)

Another possibility is outsourcing post-editing work and photo-retouching to a professional, but beware – this work on its own is extremely expensive. You might end up paying the same money as what you would pay for hiring professional photographer who would post-edit all the images.

6. Photographer’s personality:  As i already mentioned, event photography is very different from other kinds of photography. Product, Jewelry, Food or commercial photography requires a different set of social skills. Make sure your friend is social, friendly, easy-going and can approach people that he or she doesn’t know to take their photo. Make sure they are always polite and positive, not too bossy when directing other people, but not too shy either  – they will need to work with your families and your bridal party when doing the group photos.

6. Experimenting vs. Safe shots: Some times I hear newly wed couples talk negatively about their professional photographer. I hear this a lot: “So and so took such boring/ugly photos at our wedding.  And we payed him/her so very much!!! The best shot from my whole wedding day was done by a friend. I should’ve asked him/her to be my main photographer”. When I hear people say this, i come to defend the professional photographer. Why? Because a long time ago I used to be that “talented” friend. And.. Here’s what I think on the matter. A friend – a guest with the camera can experiment all that he wants. He has no commitments to give you any photos, and if he makes two amazing ones, he’ll get praised for talent, skill and what not. The professional photographer, on the other hand, is responsible to deliver you the photos of all the important moments. Now, the moments can be short…. very short! A kiss in the end of the ceremony lasts only a second, so is the moment of the groom dipping the bride in the end of the first dance, so are very many other precious moments. .. – They come and they go in a matter of seconds.

Experimenting with light or various different possible way to photograph the same scene takes time. You try one thing, you try another thing, you try the third thing. Hopefully one of them works. The guests have time for that, the photographer .. not always, not so much. The most obvious example that comes to mind is photographing, say, first dance with shallow depth of field and available light, vs. using flash. Available light, large aperture photos ARE usually much more beautiful. However, sometimes it’s too risky to use no flash. If the venue is not sufficiently lightened, the no-flash photos can come out too smudged, OR – not focuses as it may be difficult to auto-focus in the dark while using manual focus takes much longer, and the photographer might miss a few other important moments.

For a pro, it’s always a battle – one wants to make beautiful moments, but safety is first – and you need to cover your basics, and make sure that you have all your important shots done.

If the situation is different from what I described and your friend who is a beginner photographer trying to get into weddings asks YOU to give him/her a chance and a possibility to build the wedding portfolio, I would suggest taking her or him as a 2nd photographer, and still getting a professional as a main photographer. You can usually address it with the photographer you are hiring as early in the process as when you are doing the first inquiry. Ask if the photographer doesn’t mind to work with the 2nd shooter who is your friend. Explain that you are trying to do a favor to a friend who is building portfolio. Most pros wouldn’t mind. At least I wouldn’t. At the same time, make sure that your friend – now the 2nd shooter, is aware of wedding photographer etiquette – that he would listen to the main photographer, wouldn’t get in his shots, and wouldn’t interfere with any posed photos that the photographer is trying to arrange.

To summarize it all – hiring a friend is not an easy decision to make. Consider all the things that I described and think again. In the worst case scenario you might either dislike or loose your photos, or … loose a friendship. Or both. If money is scarce, it may be worth the risk, but if you have the budget for a real photographer, do yourself a favor and get one – after all, photographs is all you have left many year after to remember the day, and show it to your children and grandchildren.