The recipe for disaster OR how to to avoid turning into “Bridezilla” on your wedding day

Have you heard of bridezillas? I have, too. I have even seen a few. In this post I’d like to talk about my experiences with some of those, and some seemingly simple rules that would help you to go through your wedding day without turning from a beautiful smiling and happy bride into hysterical Bridezilla.

1. The timeline! – Timeline of your wedding day is there for a reason. It’s crucial to stick to it at all costs. In my experience, that’s the top reason why sweet girls turn into anxious nervous wrecks and make everyone around them stressed out as well.

2.The weather is not what you expected. – Have plan B. If your wedding is planned outside, put up a tent. If the ceremony is planned outside and it’s on the venue’s grounds, the venue would almost always let you have the ceremony inside if it’s raining. You just need to discuss it beforehand, and to make the final decision about 2-3 hours prior to the ceremony. Most importantly, don’t get upset about it. We all like sunny weather of course, but here’s what they say about getting married on a rainy day: “Rain can represent cleansing or stronger unity in the marriage. It comes from several cultures mainly from the Hindu with the idea that a wet knot is harder to untie since marriage is often referred to as tying the knot. Rain was also a symbol of fertility in agricultural societies, since rain restored and maintained the wellness of crops. Crops were people’s main source of stability and income so it was thought to guarantee a long happy marriage.”
As to your wedding photo-session that might have to be canceled due to rain, well.. – my suggestion is always to take all the bridal-party and family photos inside the venue. If the venue is really small, you can prepare the plan-B – some public covered space in the area where you could take these photos. For example, in New York City, such a space is Grand-Central Station. It has a beautiful architecture and is really spacious, so – i advise couples to get their free photography-permit there in advance, and have it with them ..just-in-case it rains. As to the photos of bride and groom, you can do some of them inside, but think about scheduling the after-wedding session with your photographer for just an hour or two. You’d need to dress up again, and you might want to do your hair and makeup again which means additional spending, but – what’s another few hundred dollars? I think it’s worth keeping you happy on the day of your wedding. That’s not to mention that many brides decide to have a simpler hairdo, and can manage their own makeup for the after-wedding photo-shoot.

3. The dress doesn’t fit. – While i haven’t seen any bride discover that she doesn’t fit in her dress, I’ve

seen this happening to a few bridesmaids and mothers of the brides [and grooms]. The truth is, they are just not as worried about your wedding day as you are. They didn’t spend thousands of dollars to make sure everything is just perfect, and maybe ..they didn’t try their dresses since the time they bought it. A situation with someone in your bridal party not fitting in their dress can hold you back with the bridal photos, family photos and even the photos of bride and groom. If your mom or best-friend is frantic, and crying and can’t zip their dress, chances are you will try to help them vs. just leaving them behind. And guess what? If you are running very late, either you skip the photos all together and catch up with the rest of your day’s schedule, OR – you do the photos late, meaning your ceremony will be late as well, and then your whole timeline is shifted. That is ..Stressful! What can you do to prevent it? – Just gently ask all the women in your bridal party a few days before the wedding to make sure everything FITS! Bring with you the set of scissors, threads, needle, and pins. And if you really worry too much, possibly even have with you one bridal-party colored dress in style one-size fits all.

4. Taking too much upon yourself in terms of wedding vendors coordination. I see a lot of brides and grooms that seem to carry too much on their shoulders. They do everything themselves: the flowers, the music, the party-flavors desk, calling various vendors to finalize little details, or to monitor their progress. Even if everything goes smoothly, it’s stressful. And, …if something is off, you can imagine that it’s even more stressful. The simple solution here is getting a wedding planner, or – a cheaper option – a wedding coordinator for the day. If you are on budget, don’t be afraid to delegate these tasks to friends and family-members. Delegate as much as possible, and keep yourselves Free!!! This makes a difference!

5. Your wedding dress got dirty. This happens too. Maybe there was some geese poop on the grass where you took photos; maybe the road where you walked was really dirty, maybe even somebody spilled red wine on your dress. I haven’t seen the wine being spilled, but things do happen. If these are some minor parts on the train of your dress, just keep your cool, and don’t worry. Nobody really is looking there anyway, and it’s only natural to get the bottom of the dress a bit dirty if you are walking outside and the dress is ..well.. sweeping the floors. If it’s something major like spilling wine, it’s a good idea to have a backup-plan white dress. Many brides have a lighter version shorter white dress that they switch into for dancing. So, if the accident happens during the dinner, just switch the dress fast. And earlier in the day.. try to drink white wine or champagne to be on the safe side. :)

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7.The hair-do or makeup is not to your liking. – Make sure you’ve discussed what your hair will look like with your hair-stylist, and if you are hard to please, schedule a trial and make sure you know exactly what it’ll be like. I’ve seen a couple of brides spend about 4 hours in hair-salon, asking to redo their hair several times and driving everybody nuts. And..guess how those weddings went considering they showed up about 2 hours late to the church? Don’t let this happen to you.

8.The shoes and/or the dress are really uncomfortable to the point that you can’t enjoy the wedding. Have flip-flops or a spare pair of flat comfortable cute shoes, and.. perhaps even get some light white dress just in case you desperately need to change into something else.

9.Your guests and/or vendors are late [maybe traffic or the weather] – this is tough indeed, and absolutely beyond your control. Still, here are a few tips to minimize this. Allow for some extra time before the ceremony, and make the invitations state the earlier time than you plan – 30 minutes extra is a most popular. If people are driving from far away, suggest them staying in the hotel nearby the night before and the night after. Scheduling before-the-wedding activities such as the rehearsal dinner is a good way to get them to come earlier. If a lot of your guests are coming from the same location [from the same city or neighborhood], it might be a great idea to hire a charter-bus for all of them. This will insure that they’ll make their best effort to make it in time for the bus departure, and individual cars won’t get lost on the way. Also, this means that all these guests will be able to drink at the wedding since they don’t have to drive back.

As to the vendors: in the summer-time, just give them good directions, and touch base the day before to make sure everything is set. In the winter, however, i personally would try to go with as many local vendors as possible. If there’s a snow-storm, it may be extremely difficult for your vendors to make it. What you can do to prevent it and to keep yourself calm is watch the forecast, and – once you know the weather-conditions are too challenging for the commuting, perhaps offer your vendors a free room in the hotel the night before the wedding. Having said that, the professional wedding vendors will do everything possible to come to your wedding regardless of the weather, so – they may have the contingency plan of their own.
10.Be nice! – Wedding day can be stressful, but try to keep it under control and don’t snap at your parents, siblings or close friends in front of everybody. Being rude sets the wrong mood for the day, makes everyone else feel extremely uncomfortable, and might spoil the whole day for the ones you happened to scream at. Unfortunately, it happens fairly often, and it’s understandable. Most often the brides snap at their mothers. Mothers can be very difficult as we all know it, even if they mean best. My advise here – just try to go as calmly as you can through getting-ready process.

Once this part is done, there are less causes for those little mother-daugher conflicts. Be nice to your vendors as well. Treat them with dignity, and not like your personal slaves for the day. Once i got screamed at by an impatient groom, and let me tell you – that did hurt! It was insulting, unfair, and just rude. I, as any wedding professional would do, didn’t react to it and decided to let it go since I try to avoid any conflict situations at the wedding. Still.. the wedding photos and video are ART. It’s not just a product of technical skill, and a professional photo equipment, it’s also something else – the magical mysterious ingredient – having an artist put their heart into what they do. Hence, being rude and offending your vendors means that their hearts won’t be in it. And this might reflect the quality of product that you are getting. – The bottom-line is “contain yourselves”! :)
Don’t let your wedding plans fall apart like a deck of cards. If one thing goes wrong, just deal with it calmly and move on. Don’t let it get in the way of you having fun and enjoying yourselves! Once you prepared for all things that might go wrong, just breath deeply, practice yoga, maybe even meditate, stay positive, smile a lot, and … believe me, everything will be just great! After all, the only thing that really matters is the two of you, and nothing else. :)

Author Anna is a freelance wedding photographer based in Manhattan, New York. She brings laughter and joy to the wedding day, and always tries to shoot the same with her camera.She tries to utilize meditation concepts in her photography whenever possible.

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Categories: Wedding Tips

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Date: March 14, 2013

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